Entitlement: The Ugly Truth of a Beautiful Lie

I’ll never forget the day I sat on the front porch of our Missouri home, reeling from the news that my husband’s job was going away.  It had already been decided and there was nothing I could do about it.  Panic set in as my world began to spin out of control and fear held a death grip on my heart. 

I began to cry out to God, and it is in that precise moment that I heard it.  A whisper ever so faint, yet oh so bold that it couldn’t be denied.  “This is a gift.”  Instantly, I was filled with hope because I knew Whose voice was behind that whisper.  Only the Holy Spirit would say something so bold in the midst of such disaster.  However, there was nothing about this situation that looked anything like a gift through my earthly eyes.  

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

I wish I could say that I remained faith-filled and grateful as the days went on, but that was not the case.  As events began to unfold and a new job was offered several states away, requiring much change and sacrifice, I came to resent this “gift” God had given me.  I found myself wishing I had a gift receipt, so I could return it for a full refund.  Can you relate?   

When I look back on that time, it’s a humbling realization that I reacted this way about a gift from my heavenly Father, but, instead of beating myself up about it, I decided to look for the lesson in it.  God was not surprised by my reaction to His gift, so what was He trying to teach me through this experience?

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

Over the past year I have meditated on the verse above many times, asking God to help me see the gift through His eyes, and to believe that it IS good and perfect for my life.  It’s been a process but, I believe He is leading me to the answer I so desperately desire.   

Before this encounter with God, I never really considered a connection between my own issues with entitlement and that of my children. Teaching gratefulness had always been a priority for me, but, after our move, I began to panic as I saw a drastic change in my kids' behavior and entitlement was at the core of the problem.  Where was this coming from?

As I prayed for answers, God slowly and gently began to peel back the layers that exposed my own feelings of entitlement, and what I saw wasn’t pretty.  I had totally bought into the world’s beautifully concocted lie that I deserved better, that I had sacrificed and suffered enough, that somehow, at least for a little while, I was entitled to a break from the trials of this life.   

I had placed my comfort above my Jesus, and that was the first thing that had to change.  If I ever wanted to teach my kids to be grateful, I had to start modeling gratefulness in my own life.

As my eyes were opened further, I saw a second part to what God was teaching me through this experience.  Just like I want my kids to follow my example, God was leading me to follow His.   

When I reacted to God with ungratefulness over the gift He presented me and spent the better part of a year wishing I could return it, He responded with grace, patience and unconditional love.  Although He allowed me to experience some natural consequences of my actions, He was always there encouraging me and believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.  He never gave up on me and that kind of love and grace changes hearts.   

God used my ungratefulness to model for me a beautiful example of how to respond to my kids the next time I see entitlement rearing its ugly head.  What a good and perfect gift, indeed! 
   
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  Matthew 7:11

Because this is a subject near and dear to my heart, I am always seeking wonderful, applicable resources to add to my parenting arsenal, and I have found just the one!  Author and Blogger, Kristen Welch, over at We Are THAT Family, has written a real, practical, groundbreaking book called Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World.  If you, like me, struggle with contentment in the here and now and want to see your kids set free from the entitlement trap, this is a must-read that you can refer to again and again for years to come! You can snag your copy today at raisinggratefulkids.com or find it at major retailers when it releases on January 26^th!

If you enjoyed this post and want to read more about what gratitude looks like in the lives of others, you will want to check out the #RaisingGratefulKids Blog Hop!!  Just scroll down and follow the links to more blog posts about gratefulness.  There is SO much good stuff here, y'all!!  You don't want to miss it!

Inspiring an Attitude of Gratitude - by  Alison
Raising Grateful Kids - by amanda
Why You Can't Buy Gratitude At The Dollar Store - by Andrea
Missing - Gratefulness in our home - by Ange
Choosing Gratitude - by Angela
Gratefullness - by chaley
5 Steps to Gratitude-Fille Family - by Christa
Practicing Grateful Parenting - by Dana
Sing a Song - by Hannah
Cultivating gratitude in our family - by Jamie
Gratefulness In Our Home - by Jana
Let It Begin With Me - by Jen
Choosing Gratefulness - by Jennifer
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World - The Book - by jeri
Eradicating Entitlement - What are you rooted in? - by Jessica
Gratefulness in our home - by Kate
The Problem With Entitlement is that it begins with us - by Katelyn
7 Unusual Ways I Know How to Be Grateful - by Kathryn
Raising Grateful Kids - by Keri
How My Children Remind Me to Pray with Gratitude - by Kishona
Grateful - by Kristy
Entitlement: The Ugly Truth of a Beautiful Lie - by Leigha
The Most Important Thing You Can Do To Raise Grateful Kids - by Lindsey
Dear Son: How Do I Teach You To Be Grateful Without Guilt? - by Marie Osborne
Gratitude, A Practical Definition - by Mia
Cultivating Gratitude in Our Home - by Nancy
Learning Gratitude through Chronic Illness - by Rachel
Being Grateful - by Rebecca
I've Found Something I Can't Live Without - by Sarah
The Power of Naming our Gifts - by Sarah
Outfitted - by Sarah Jo
Growing Gratitude in our Family - by Sondra
Teaching Gratefulness - by Stephanie
How Grateful Looks From Here - by Alison
Fighting Entitlement in Children and All of us - by Leah
Entitlement Problem - by Karrie
Grateful Today - by Krystal